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I drive a lot of Kentucky back roads for my job. Sometimes I am stuck in my car for 4 or 5 hours without a break which, as you could imagine, makes me go bonkers. That’s why I am always exited when I see a park or nature attraction I can pull over to marvel at while I wait for the feeling to come back into my legs.

This week I stopped up and took a hike in Natural Bridge State Park. The landmark map said it would only be a mile away from where I parked my car, but it failed to mention it was 100% uphill so it took me nearly 30 minutes in my office flats to reach the top of this monster.

This rock formation naturally forms a bridge, thus the highly literal name.

under the bridge

Once you reach the bottom of the bridge, you have the option to either pass out from exhaustion or try to climb to the top. I decided to climb the top. On my way up I saw a family coming down off of the top of the bridge, a bridge having no walls or railings or fall protection on any side, with their infant baby in the mother’s arms. Parents of the year!

To get to the top you have to squeeze through a tiny, narrow passageway. If I hadn’t have lost 8 lbs trying to climb the mountain I may not have fit.

good luck fatties

It was totally worth it to see the view from the top. I do not know when the bridge was formed or even how (I stopped reading the educational signs once they mentioned what to do if  you see a bear) but it was nothing short of wonderful.

"That cloud looks like a moose"

I took a ton of photos of the beautiful view, but I like this one the best. These two were cuddling up and spending the day looking at the scene. I was super jealous and wish I had someone there to share it with, but its totally ok because I get to share it now with all of you!

Another great Kentucky attraction I got to see a few months ago was Cumberland Falls. I never knew there was a waterfall in Kentucky, let alone one that creates a Moonbow (a rainbow visible at night). In fact, it is the only Moonbow attraction in this hemisphere. So take that, every other state!

There it is. Now, time to go drive again.

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My dad has this thing for Jared Leto. I couldn’t explain it, and neither could he. I made fun of him for a while, until he gave me a copy of the new 30 seconds to mars CD. Then I understood.

While I loved the CD, I wasn’t quiet turned on to the cult experience… yet. My dad had been to concerts with his girlfriends. Friends that are girls. He’s not a playa he just crushes a lot. Being 55 I often wondered how he fit in. Did he stick out in the sea of teenagers? He came back with black t-shirts with skulls on them. He’d send me videos and posts to my facebook about them. I was beginning to worry.

My sister, so graciously, got my dad and I a pair of tickets for their January show in Louisville, Kentucky. I love going to concerts, especially ones emphasising crowd interaction. I had been to Girl Talk a few weeks before this and I danced my ass off. I was really excited.

We pulled up to the venue. It was a warehouse in a flea market. Jared loves playing small stages my father insisted, he sells them out. I could totally see that, by the incredibly long line forming around the building. It was 7PM and the doors were opening. It was 30 degrees outside.

It took is 55 minutes to get into the door.

Once inside I was faced with many choices: wait in line for the bathroom or pee on myself? Watch the warm up band on the other stage or stake out a spot to stand for the concert? Go get a drink or pee on myself? It was a long drive and I had a lot of soda. The crowd was  a mix of young and old, boys and girls, loose jeans and skinny jeans.  Lots of black t-shirts.

After finally finding a bathroom and a decent spot to stand, the warm up band came on at 8:30, rocked it, and were off the stage by 9. I was so ready to see 30STM. It had been a long day of driving, then standing, and all I wanted to do was move around and sing the songs. 9:10. 9:25. 9:37. 952. Seriously, where were they? Just when I was about to give up, buckle in my knees and sit on the trashy ground… 10:02, on they came.

oh hey, are you pointing at me?

The crowd moved inward. We were all smashed against each other. My attention focused on my poor father, who must have been crushed by the moving crowd. Not only was he fine, he was jumping up and down like a maniac. And then, so was I. It was only 3 songs into the set when I knew I had to be closer. I turned around, the tallest man the room was standing behind me. He was like the Yao of hipsters. I whispered in his ear, and within seconds he had lifted me up and I was tossed on top of the crowd. I floated away toward the stage. I was the first crowd surfer of the concert.

I had never done that before. I have no idea what came over me. It just felt awesome. I was tossed to the front of the stage and was lifted over the railing by security. They set me down. I was now in the in-between. To my left, the stage. To my right, the crowd. In front of me, a row of security and hot girl groupies. While security tossed a lot of the surfers back, they let me stay. The groupies cuddled up with me and sang every song at the top of my lungs. Most of them didn’t know the words.

between a rock and a hard place

For the final number, Jared Leto picked a bunch of fans to join him on stage. There I was in my white leather jacket, on stage with Jared Leto. I waved to my dad somewhere in the crowd. We are going to remember this moment for the rest of our lives! yelled the 26-year-old dude next to me. I wasn’t sure who he was talking to, but I was totally agreeing with him in my head. I stood between the bass player and the drummer, and in my mind, maybe in life too, Jared Leto totally made eye contact with me a few times. And he definitely waved to me as he left the stage (thats true).

come here, Kelly

Best. Night. Ever.

p.s. has anyone seen my dad?

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Antique Adventure

Oh, my poor neglected little blog. I am so sorry I haven’t written. The weather has been miserable and to be honest, I don’t even want to get out of my car. However, I did finally have an adventure last week!

My friend and I got into the car and hit the GPS to the nearest antique mall. After passing several in some sketchy neighborhoods, we found ourselves on the top of the hill in Mt. Adams. A photo shoot followed

 

Cincinnati Girl

 

After jumping back into the car, we finally found a place we could get excited about. Here are some of the treasures we looked through:

 

a painting of Mark Twain

 

 

old 1950s jacket

 

 

stuffed polar bear from 1970

lots of fun junk

 

We didn’t buy anything, but it was a great way to spend a Sunday. And finally, I had an adventure.

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Hillbilly Heaven

Bob's

It’s called Cave City, Kentucky.

Once a place filled with mysterious and beautiful caves ready for fun family exploration, is now a ring-a-ding tourist town with everything from miniature golf to Dinosaur World!

I drove into Cave City on my way to I’m not telling where I was going and found it wildly amusing.

To my left, Bob’s Mystery House. $1 admission gets you in to see amazing oddities. I stayed in my car. They were selling rocks in the parking lot. Rocks.

I also passed Kentucky Down Under, an Australian outback themed park that offers cave tours and a view of exotic animals in the summer, and sits there like a hut in the winter. Like today, I walked in, and they looked like they hadn’t seen anyone there in months. I took a brochure and walked out. The sign said, Come in and meet a Kangaroo! But her face said, What’s the matter with you? Don’t you know animals go somewhere else in the winter? Crazy… you can tour our cave though!    No thanks.

 

 

 

seriously... wtf

 

Interesting people they have around these parts. I saw this driving down the highway. Yep. That’s 6 legs sticking up in the air.
 
Either that’s a mutant deer, or they have already chewed away the other two legs from the fresh kill.
 
Deer Jesus, I mean, Dear Jesus, I need to get away from here.
 
Off of the next exit, I found another treasure.
 
I was greeted by the sharp-toothed T-Rex at the intersection of kitschy and uncomfortable. He was looking rather dapper.

 

 
Now that was it.
 
Mammoth Cave just happens to be the longest running cave system in the world. THE WORLD. It is a beautiful place and a National State Park. It should be respected! Isn’t that enough to make you want to visit it? The beauty of it all? The wonder you can feel when standing at the base of something so big? The joy you will feel looking at the photos from your educational family vacation?
 

parting words

Nope. We need diners and bumper cars!

 
I even took a little drive past on my way home just so I could rationalize my anger. And then literally, LITERALLY… I saw a chicken, cross the road, right in front of me.
 
Ohhhhhh, its all a big joke, huh?
The town was mocking me.
Whatever.
Have fun, Cave City.  
 
You really shocked me.
 
 

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Back Where I Belong

NYC

I miss it already.

I was in Warren, New Jersey this week for a training class that ended every day at 4:30. Being everydayadventuregirl, it was impossible for me to stay put when I was miles away from my favorite place on Earth. I had to go into the city.

On Monday, it was raining cats and homeless people outside. It was 40 degrees and it was dark and gloomy. I didn’t care. I, very much alone I might add, boarded the New Jersey Transit at 6:16 to take the hour-long ride into the city.

At first I was a little scared. This wasn’t exactly the nicest area and I was didn’t have a clue which way to board onto the train. I was determined not to look touristy as I purchased my ticket, thinking I would be safer if I looked like I was local. So I swiped my card and selected without fully reading. Alas, I got my ticket and moved up the dirty escalator and onto the platform.  I took a seat between two women. One was actually a man, and the other was wearing a shower cap. No big deal.

While my brain begged me to turn around and go back, my heart was racing around the thought of running around New York again. It had been months.

nap time

The train ride was so boring. I had little battery left on my phone and I wasn’t going to waste it searching facebook or texting friends, even though every part of my being wanted me to. Who knows what kind of emergency I might have needed it for later?

I people watched a bit. A lot  of people were snoozing or listening to their loud, angry music. One man was shouting into the phone about his divorce. He had absolutely no filter.

I wrote some jokes too. Most of which were crap but I ended up liking one or two.

Finally, I arrived at Penn Station a little after 7. After staring at a subway map for 10 minutes, I decided to take a cab. I was familiar with the area enough to know it wouldn’t cost that much and it was way more comfortable. I went to my favorite stores in the fashion district, then I ran around searching for something to each. When I reached the NYU student housing I realized I had been there before, and The Comedy Cellar was right around the corner.

Hey, I know you....

I checked the board of performers. Myq Kaplan! I love him! There were a few other big names and some I had never heard of.

“Table for one please.”

 It is pretty embarrassing but I am comfortable enough with myself to not care what people might think of that phrase. I have fun by myself. I crack myself up. I didn’t mind  being stuck in the corner alone so I could laugh, eat nachos and drink in peace. 

As it turns out, there was already a gentlemen in the corner with his table for one, so they sat us together. Kurt was from London. He is a museum curator and was just in Columbus, Ohio for an exhibit. His friend bailed on their New York plans so he was also alone in the city and hoping to make the most of the night. So we chit-chatted and I adored his accent. I think I scared him with my horrible table manners and my snorting laughs. He was a nice fella.

The show was great. I had been to The Comedy Cellar before (see previous posts) but it was interesting to see how a weekday show played out. The audience was decent and the comics experimented with new jokes.

yay

I got up around 10:50 because it was getting late and I still had to make my way back to Jersey. I took a wrong turn and ended up in the restaurant above the club, where several comics were hanging out.

I was approached by a male comic, who told me to sit down and have a drink. He was with his manager and when I told him I was also a comic, he asked to hear one of my jokes.

Seriously? How did this opportunity just fall into my lap? Thank you Lord, and thank you mom for making me blonde.

He liked it.

We talked for a few minutes longer and he gave me some good advice, “Just be the comic you would like to be. Don’t pay attention to what others want you to be because it doesn’t matter.”

I excused myself before it got weird and thanked him for the advice. I also emailed him on the way home to thank him again. I’d send him a card, but I think he got the point.

I was on cloud 9 the whole ride home. I didn’t even mind the smell.

The next night, I drove to Astoria in Queens where 3 of my comic friends from Cincinnati lived. They moved to New York a few months ago and were already doing big things.

Having spent 2 hours in the Lincoln Tunnel on the way there, I was so exhausted when I pulled up. To perk me up, we went out on the roof of their apartment to see the view.

How gorgeous is that?

It looked like a hole was ripped through the sky because of the light.

Dave Waite and I

After the photo shoot on the roof, we ordered a pizza and watched 30 Rock on DVD. I could get used to this.

We drove a few blocks to a local wine bar to do a comedy show. I was 3rd on stage and since they had never heard my material before, the audience gave me a great response. One of the comics insisted that I move to New York right away. She is my new best friend. Seriously. It was a great night. Am I being concieded? Maybe. A little. Ah, I don’t care. No one reads this.

We stayed a little longer, and I chatted with my new friends about the scene there. I am so envious and proud of them all at the same time, for really putting themselves out there to live their dreams.

the wolf pack

Maybe I will be there one day, or maybe I will never make it out of Ohio. Either way I am having a fun time, and I seriously love where I am at in my life.
 
We went back to their apartment where we thawed a cheesecake that had been sent to the boys from Cincinnati via mail.
 
Delicious.
 
I can’t wait to go back and do it all again.

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That’s New

driveway

This past weekend I drove 3 hours out to visit my Aunt in the country. She has a cozy cabin tucked away in the woods that I hadn’t been to since I was 6 years old. After passing the Amish signs for horse-and-buggy crossing it suddenly dawned on me that the cabin I was about to stay in had no running water and no electricity. Oopps, forgot that part.

Luckily it was just down the hill from my Aunts so I got to use a real restroom, have heat and watch TV for a few hours. I still roughed it though, I promise!

Don’t ever expect less from Everydayadventuregirl.

morning view

When I arrived that night my awesome Uncle Orville had already had a camp fire lit for us.

After the most peaceful night sleep I have had in a long time, I woke up with the sun shinning through my window. I turned down the oil filled lamp I had running all night and opened the door. The creatures outside watching me all skimpered away. I am sure they were planning on eating me but I didn’t see their faces so I can’t be certain.

What to do on such a morning?

Went for a walk.

Played with the dog.

And oh yeah, I shot my Aunt’s AK47.

trying something new

I had never shot a gun before, but I really wanted to for some reason. I think it was a face-your-fear sort of day. She started me off with a little practice shooting her .22 rifle. I was most afraid of the kick and the loud bang, but once I got a hang of it I ended up being pretty decent at aiming.

I shot for the groin area.

Switching to the AK-47 was very intimidating. I wore my protective ear muffs and braced myself for the powerful shot. I lined the lazer scope up with the target and pulled the trigger slooooooooooowly.

I’m not saying I’m a badass, but I do play one on TV.

boom.

 

I put a video up on my facebookpage that makes me look stupid. As soon as I shoot the gun, I whip my head back hard because I was so scared of the noise.

Winner.

Still, look at that target.

My aunt then took me down to the Amish community so I could see what it was like to live without electricity.

Wait, what?

No, she actually took me because they have a really good bakery. They also had a furniture store, a farm, and really interesting haircuts.

But no judgement here, I promise. I actually really respected the community. They work very hard. I couldn’t believe all of the beautiful furniture they were able to make.

pimp cane.

 

I can’t even sow a button onto my jeans.
 

sign out front

 I was only there two days, but I left with the experience of shooting a gun, respecting the Amish, and cleaning up in nickel poker.
 
Sometimes a city girl just needs a break.

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I took a trip to San Antonio last week. I arrived with a smile and ambition and left with the taste of tequila in my mouth and a huge black and purple bruise on my hip.  The photo below should explain a lot…
 

smile por favor

 

That is me, in a sombrero, with a dart in my hand. This looks like a scary situation I am sure but please believe that I am quite alright. I just had 1 margarita at the time.  3 drinks later I was still feeling good. I spend my first night in San Antonio learning to throw, playing rock music on the juke box and eating shelled peanuts at the bar.  

I won’t indulge you with the details of why I was there, just know this: San Antonio is dangerous.  

Besides the obvious “getting pelted in the head with a dart by a tipsy blonde in a sombrero”, there are a few reasons why if you want to visit San Antonio, you should do so with a Helmet.  

Below are the reasons why:  

Rudy's.

 

1.  Risk of Heart Attack  

It’s not the Mexican food that will kill you, it’s the BBQ. This is Rudy’s. It’s known for having The Worst Bar-B-Q in Texas. At Rudy’s you order food by the serving, which for meat is 1/4 a pound.
 
Dang.
 
Rudy’s will hand you an empty cola case as a tray and load you up with enough country food to feed a small army of barefoot Kentucky children.
 
 Another factor for heart attack would be the giant Texas margaritas; that’s a whole different ballgame.
2. Being too touristy
 

Is that a smile?

 

At the Alamo, a Texas treasure, my friends were playing up on my lack of knowledge and telling me to ask around about the basement in the Alamo. I wasn’t going to fall for that one, but I was persuaded to ask an Alamo guard to take a photo with me.
 
“He’ll love it” my friend insisted. “Say that you have always wanted to meet a Texas Ranger.”
 
He was less than enthusiastic about me calling him a Texas Ranger and I believe with all of my being that he would have reached out and punched me had we not been in public.
 
Don’t taze me bro!
 
 

The Alamo

 

I also went to the Alamo during the day so that I could get a peek inside. Here I was among other touristy people so the chances of a Alamo guard smack-down were a bit slim. 

and it was good.

 

  There was a lot more to see during the day, including a garden area with a wicked cool old tree, some canons and artifacts.  

I love it. And I was smart enough to know not to disrespect The Alamo. Texas know how to keep they pimp hands strong.  

3. Falling into the river walk  

Ok, it probably wouldn’t kill you to fall into the 3 feet of water that makes up the famous San Antonio River Walk, but you could certainly catch a nasty cold from all the ewwie goowie stuff that’s in there.  

purdy.

 

Paroozing the River Walk was certainly an enjoyable part of the day. There are hundreds of hotels, shops, restaurants and ducks located along the man-made river’s edge.  

Everyone once in a while you will see a boat loaded with out-of-towners headed down the water with a loud tourguide yelling about a historic marker.  

I enjoyed the pumpkin spice latte I got from Starbucks as I walked up and down and up and down every part of that walkway. It was fall, but it was still 80 degree in Texas.  

Along the way I did come across another touristy thing to do, that will no doubt point out to everyone around you that you are in fact a tourist, that you don’t care if they know it and that you are willing to look ridiculous. This event is known as The Trying On of the Coon Skin Hat.  

so fetch.

 

  

4. Smoke inhallation
 
San Antonio is one of the few cities left that lets their patrons suck on a cancer stick in public and private places. From my cold dead hands, right Texas?
 
I met up with some friends and headed down to a restaurant and a few bars, only to be consumed in a death cloud of tobacco. I feel like such a weenie but my eyes were burning and I could feel the smell soaking up into my hair. I did the only thing I could think of to put myself in a better mood… I went over the juke box, I slumped over, and I pouted.
 
This is a classic sign of, “I want to hear Hall and Oats, but gee, I have no money.”
 
Works like a charm! Thanks pink shirt guy!
 
The best part of the night, and coincidently, the most painful part of my trip comes with San Antonio’s Hazard #5…
 
5. Fall off of the World Largest Pair of Cowboy Boots
There is probably a reason why they surround them with sharp and point cactus plants. I was hoping it was just for decoration and not to try and keep people off of them.
 
After several attemps of trying to climb them, slipping off and trying again, I managed to find the best way up. 
The next challange was trying to figure out how to get my friend up too.

great success

She is a bit shorter than me so I ended up just pulling her up.  

The hardest part by far was trying to get down without landing in a cactus.
My friend shouted, “just jump I will catch you!” Standing at 5 feet and weighing in at 115 lbs, I highly doubted she would have the strength to hold me as I tumbled down this monster.
team.

So I just jumped. I hit the side of the boot and I bruised myself like a peach.  

I did not see a sign that said not to climb on these, so I am sure I am not the only jerk that has hurt themself on these things. Still, next time I go to San Antonio, I will know to procede with caution.
 
Cheers!

   

 

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