Posts Tagged ‘jersey shore’

I hate Miami, trick

I can’t pronounce it.

 Friday evening, after I was done with what I had come to do, I drove to Miami which was about 25 minutes from where I was staying in Ft. Lauderdale. Why? I am still wondering that myself.   

I’ve been to Miami before. I did not like it then. I did not like it now. Everyone is rude. Everyone is in a hurry. Everyone sucks. Just saying…   

I went to that place that the cast of Jersey Shore worked at the summer their show was filming in Miami, because I’m a total idiot. Actually, I just wanted some damn ice cream. It was really hot, and it was a place that was there.   

I waited in line behind 15 of the biggest groupies I had ever seen in my life. Ice cream groupies. They loved Jersey Shore so much that they wanted to get pictures of the dude that worked there (I guess he was their boss on the show) and was on television for approximately for 35 seconds….   

I'm famous.


This guy.   

And as I waited patiently in the air-conditioned hell, I didn’t even lose my temper, a la Larry David, when they each sampled 97 flavors of ice cream before deciding on chocolate and vanilla, because to me it was hysterical.   

8 days later I made my choice, some fatty Oreo cookie thing. Size small. $4. Perfect I’ll take it now get me out of here.   

I was fist pumping on my merrily way when I took the first bite. It tasted like hair gel.   

I hate Miami.


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